We All Have "Our Things"

The idea for this post came from a recent e-mail discussion that I had with my dear friend Meg. We all have these "things" that if they were to happen our lives would be so much better. For some the thing would be to get married, if they could only find a spouse how much better their life would be! Others may be longing for things like a thinner body, home ownership, a child, or a college degree. It doesn't really matter what the thing is, whether it is big or small, with most of us it is the longing for a thing that would make our lives complete. I often find myself thinking that if I had only published a book my life would somehow be more complete. When I was younger I used to have this discussion with friends, we would talk about our young adulthood and how we were working towards college degrees then graduate degrees and then we would find jobs and maybe get married, buy a house, have some kids, and then what...well the "then what" stage is the stage that I am in now and I find that the biggest difficulty of "then what" is choosing what to do rather than having it planned for me based on my time in life.

The things tend to be more challenging than the stages. Often we do get the things that we long for to make our lives complete and when we get them, they are nothing like we expected. This is especially true for things that aren't really things like marriage and children. In the case of actual things, the getting of them usually doesn't offer completeness. More often than not, the getting of them results in the desire to have something better. A starter home is great to own, but won't it be great when we can move to a different neighborhood or have this much more square footage. If one is jobless, having money to live may be the desired, and necessary, thing. When the joblessness is left behind and money is coming in, there is always the temptation to want more, to earn more, and to collect more. The money to live is no longer enough and the thing is transformed.

It doesn't really matter what the things are. We all have them. They change. They grow. If we let them they consume us, our minds and our conversations. It is a challenge to be happy where you are at and know that, for whatever reason, you are meant to be in this particular place at this particular time. It takes knowing yourself and learning how to be content, maybe there are things that can make us more fulfilled and more happy, the problem is learning to know just what those are.

Words of Wisdom

A fanatic can't change their mind and won't change the subject.

Time Management-Take it in a New Direction

Last night I read an interesting article in the latest edition of the Utne Reader. It was a discussion regarding attention and focus. New research suggests that we don't have a finite amount of attention, each of us can tap into more attention and focus by directing ourselves to attend and focus on the right things. In regards to the right things, we are all different I have been thinking about this lately and realize that I direct more focus and attention than I would like to things that aren't really important to me such as, picking up my house, doing laundry, running never ending errands, and driving.

As a mother it is essential that I do some of this, but I have been thinking about how to gift myself with more energy and attention to important things and I realized that those seemingly meaningless tasks bring me no joy whatsoever, but the outcomes bring me happiness. I like the house to be clean, I love the smell of clean laundry and it is nice to have a choice of what clothes to wear, I like to check "done" on my to do list, and driving usually means that I am doing something that a) needs to be done for myself, b) is important for my children, or c) may be taking us somewhere where we actually want to go. So, in that light, all of these things that take my time and attention are important and need attending to.

What needs to change is how I make these necessary activities part of my life and enjoy said outcomes without allowing them to take over. I will start with picking up the house. What makes me eternally joyful and ever so happy is when my children and my husband actually clean up their own messes. To that end I will be directing more attention to teaching my children how to do this. I doubt that I will be able to actually teach my husband how to pick up after himself, but I have heard the children remind him to do so on more than one occasion and that is a start. For me, there is always meditation or copious amounts of red wine. Messes don't seem to bother me as much when I engage in either one of those activities.

Whenever a mother says that she wants to "be happy," it is considered selfish. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if I ain't happy, this household of mine isn't very happy either. I don't mean this in a selfish, surface kind of way. True inner happiness is important, mother or not. In this most people are the same. People are happy when they are able to attend to things that bring them pleasure. Attention is an ethereal concept. I am trying to make it more solid. The Utne Reader article recommends using some form of meditation, or having periods of time when you are able to empty your mind and "zone out." Apparently it is during these periods of time that humans are able to recharge their capacity for creativity and center on the things that are important. This has always been challenging for me, I sense that is the case for many of us type "A's," but I have to say that I am getting better. Yoga at least once a week has been a good start. Sitting down and actually completing this post without jumping up to attend to every argument going on between my children or to clean up the leftover dinner food has been another. Day by day, hour by hour...

The Olympics, Here Again

I have been staying up late, too late. When the Olympics are on, my latent inner sports fan seems to kick in and I can't get enough. The skiing this year has been particularly interesting for me to watch as I recognize much of the landscape in and around Whistler and even recognize some of the runs that I have skied on, not going over 100 miles per hour, however. I am loving the ice dancing. Another skating event that I enjoy is speed skating and the fact the two of the competitors hail from a small town just south of where I live. I have always been partial to ice skating. When I was young I took ice skating lessons for a number of years, I was never in any competitions, but I still enjoy watching and doing ice skating. I also like to support local talent, it makes the whole event more personal. We seriously thought about getting tickets to an event or two and heading north, but despite the close proximity of the events this year, the price of accomodations remains out of reach. I was offered tickets to one of the women's snowboarding events, but the logistics of travelling to and from were exhausting to calculate, so here I sit at home enjoying the games from the comfort of my own couch.

Hey! Seattle Tourists, Give Us A Second Chance

A couple of weeks ago a video of a fifteen-year-old girl being beaten in a metro transit tunnel while security "guards" looked on was released. When I first saw this I was, of course, horrified that the "guards" did nothing to protect this young girl. Their job description is to "observe and report events to the police, but not to get involved." Following the release of this video, we here in the Emerald City were inundated with claims from possible tourists throughout the country claiming that they would not visit Seattle because of the random violence and lack of protection. This story goes on and on. There were police at the downtown store where this girl had been prior to her stroll through the metro transit tunnel. The girl and the young people who beat her had been engaged in verbal argument in the store and had been asked to leave by the police. The girl said that she told the police she was scared and they apparently told her to "take the bus and go home." Now, what a fifteen-year-old girl was doing alone in a city shopping area rather late on a week night is beyond the scope of this current post, but I have my own suspicions as I am sure that most people do. I would also like to clarify for those who are fearful in our fair city, this was not a random assault. This girl had engaged in argument with the perpetrators before. She had in fact engaged with them minutes prior to her assault and this made her fearful of them, yet she chose to walk alone in a metro bus tunnel late at night.

I also want to clarify that I don't condone the behavior of the security guards. Job description be damned, it is morally wrong to simply "watch" someone being beaten. I am willing to bet that if those guards had become even remotely helpful, other bystanders would have jumped in to assist also thereby activating the Good Samaritan Law.

Fast forward to this morning. My husband and I were reading the paper and what is on the front page but the beating victim. Guess what? She is wanted for robbing and assaulting another young woman in the Edmonds area. Not that she deserves to be beaten, but it seems like Seattle's little anti-tourism poster child is indeed running with the wrong crowd. It seems in fact that she may even be leading it. So before you decide not to take a visit to the Emerald City because of safety concerns, look a bit deeper and keep in mind that this is an extra low precipitation year, it has even been sunny the last several days.

Tattoo Me

This is something that I think about every so often. Usually when I have a milestone birthday coming up, I think about taking the plunge and getting inked. Some tattoos are absolutely beautiful. Sleeves or the full body thing or anything on the face or head doesn't really set well with me. But then I would never consider doing that to my body, some people feel compelled to do this for whatever reason. I do not honestly know what I would tattoo on myself and I also don't know where I would tattoo it if I did. If I go to the time, expense, and effort then I think that I would want my tattoo to show. I would need to hide it at work, so it couldn't be in too showy of a place. The ankle comes to mind, but I have heard that can be painful. I guess getting a tattoo anywhere would probably be painful, but maybe less so on a fatty vs. bony area. Then I have to think about what I would indelibly put on myself and this is where is gets hard. I frankly just have too many diverse interests and I don't have an overriding interest or love that sails above everything else in such a way that I would want it to be permanently marked on me. I guess, for now, I will have to continue thinking. Of course, there is no reason that I have to get tattooed, I just keep thinking that maybe it would be something cool to do...sometime.

New Year's Resolutions

It is a popular thing to do this time of year, post resolutions to rid oneself of bad habits and replace them with good ones in the new year. I like to do this and have had more lists than I can keep track of in my lifetime that urge me to throw away my vices and become a better person. Now in the year 2010 I find that I have a few resolutions that I can put out there and will probably be willing to keep throughout the year. I don't know about giving up my vices (red wine, coffee, paper books, and hair products) but I do know that there are a few areas of self-improvement that I must try and hold myself accountable to.

The first one would be finding time and space to write more often and maybe in shorter bursts. I plan to tackle the project of shopping for a small, portable computer that I can call my own (i.e., one that I don't share with the rest of the family) hopefully as soon as this weekend. Ideally, it would be nice to be home to write, but in reality I am rarely ever home, at least not during the day and at night I am just to damn tired. So a quick and portable method that does not require paper and pen is most likely what I need to make this goal a reality. At present I do write. It just comes in short and prolific bursts whereby I produce copious amounts of non-quality written work.

Planning a fitness regimen and diet is always a popular one. I have always worked out in one form or another. It was a habit that I started in high school. The difference between me then and me now is caloric intake. Before I started heading towards dreaded middle age, I could eat any amount of whatever I wanted and burn it all off quickly with a five mile run. Now I really have to watch what and how much I eat or there is literally no workout in the world that will help me get rid of the extra pounds. So, I resolve this year to continue doing my workouts as always AND to monitor what goes into my mouth more closely. I have had to become more diligent regarding this if I don't want to weigh 300 pounds, but I still think that there is room for improvement.

I am going to start making coffee more often at home. Yes, I do live in latteland and Howard Schultz resides somewhere in a nearby neighborhood, so by going to Starbucks almost daily I am supporting a local business, right? Well, that may be so, but the support is expensive! I have already started doing this and found that I have been missing steaming, home brewed coffee especially at this chilly time of year.

Other areas that I could try to do better in include the following: Remembering birthdays, I am truly rubbish at this. I don't really hold my own birthday in very high or special regard, so I am not always that great about honoring the birthdays of others. Perhaps it is time that I become a bit less egocentric about this. I also need to tie up loose ends in my personal life. Sometimes I have terrific amounts of difficulty saying "no." I don't seem to have this trouble at work, mostly just in personal situations. There are definitely some personal situations that I need to resolve. I must become less passive-aggressive this year and become slightly more comfortable with a wee bit of conflict here and there. The last thing that I must do on a very regular basis is learn how to relax. We went away over the holiday and I got so relaxed that when I came home I forgot about a number of things that needed doing, including renewing my professional license which I was able, thankfully, to do on-line. I am now thinking that if I relaxed a little and more often, maybe I wouldn't fall into such a pit of laziness and confusion when returning from a restful vacation. The great news here is that my sleep issues are finally being resolved and I am now able to get great sleep most nights without medication.

That's all for now! I will try to update progress WHEN it happens.

How Should I Then Read???

Lately, I have been reading about and hearing about plugs for electronic reading gadgets such as Nook and Kindle. Most people who have tried to persuade me regarding the wonders of such electronics are either a) very environmentally conscious and wish to save the trees; b) travel quite a bit for business and/or leisure and are avid readers who are tired of lugging books around the world or c) read so much and so often that they can't keep up and are usually reading many things at one time and find it easier to keep track of everything on an electronic device.

I think that the advent of such devices is wonderful. For two years running I have thought about buying my husband a Kindle for his birthday (he falls into category "c" above) and maybe 2010 will be the year that I do this. For myself, I just don't know. See, when all is said and done, I am a book addict. Now I don't just mean a reading addict, which I am, it is the books that I really like. I enjoy holding, smelling, re-reading, and thumbing through books. I can get lost for hours on end in a library or bookstore. It would be hard for me to take up reading on an electronic device. When I am done with books I either pass them onto someone else or I sell them to the 1/2 price bookstore (the libraries in our area do accept donated books), so I am making the most of any books that I purchase. I also love to support local authors that I like and thus I buy their books. Whenever possible I use the library, my in-laws live in a city where budget cuts have closed the local library so I definitely like to support keeping libraries open and operating.

When all is said and done, despite the extra weight when I travel and the seemingly needless use of trees to publish copies of all of these books, I would find it hard to live without a book in hand. Maybe in the year 2010 I will be able to get more technical, I am still not too old to change my tune after all I do know how to text! Maybe the said Kindle birthday present that I plan to purchase this July (yes, my husband does read my blog and no he does not like surprises so I guess that I should put this out there) will convince me to change my mind. I will just have to see what the future holds.

Uncle Tom's Cabin

I just got through reading the book, "Uncle Tom's Cabin," by Harriet Beecher Stowe. I know, such a "positive" tale just in time for the holidays. Although there were quite a few "bad happenings" as is to be expected in such a book, the ending was very novelistic. Most of the people, sans Uncle Tom, were tied up in a happy ending for the reader. In the author comments section, Mrs. Stowe talks about how many of the stories presented in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" were based on truth and events the she had witnesses in her life and in knowing escaped slaves. That is a perspective that none of us in the 21st century will ever have. It is horrifying to think of how an entire race of people was once treated en masse in the USA.

I thought of this again today when I was perusing my blog listing and my friend at Upside DownUnder posted a video about detainees from Guantanamo Bay. While maybe it is not mass suppression here in America our prejudices about the quality and trustworthiness of other races is certainly not alleviated. I can see where many of the attitudes prevalent in slave holders still exist today in the general public, especially when talking about persons of Middle Eastern descent.

Also, slavery does still exist. When reading "Uncle Tom's Cabin" I was swept away by the expository language and over-riding christian theme of the time. That theme being used to justify slavery and all of its cruelties. When I look at the sex slave traffiking trade I have to ask myself how far we have come and answer "not very." Do I think that "Uncle Tom's Cabin" is a good read? Well, that depends on why you want to read it. I am a firm believer that history repeats itself and by reading back into history I can see the same actions repeated in today's society. I am only one individual, but as one individual I have to ask myself how I can alter my life and thoughts to create a better history in my own tiny sphere of influence and that is mostly why I read the book. That was one reason, the other being that it is a book commonly used as a reference in many discussions that no one seems to have read. So, if you want to take it on and you can wade through the utter lack of political correctness and high dose of flowery christianity, go for it!

Growing Old Gracefully

As much as I have tried to avoid the bustling crowds this Christmas, I have found myself in crowds on several occasions. Usually when I am being pushed and bumped along in the midst of a calm crowd I just try and go with it. If I happen to have children in tow, I try to hang on to them and have them hang on to me and hope that none of us gets separated. Here in our neck of the woods we have a nightly event called "Snowflake Lane." It takes place on the main thoroughfare that runs through the small city in which I live. My kids love it and each year it has grown in musical variety and characters in costume. First the costumed characters, drummers on stilts, and snow princesses make their rounds through the crowd. Then the bands of drummers come out and take their places on miniature stages to belt out some holiday tunes. The whole event ends with a glorious fake snowfall.

This year, my oldest daughter was quite taken with the costumed Rudolf and she really wanted to have her picture taken with him. When we first saw Rudolf I did not have my camera ready and he was gone before I had a chance to get it out. We had staked a place near the front along the crowd-lined street when she spied Rudlolf again. We quickly darted through the few people behind us to snap a picture, leaving my younger two children in our "spot." This only took a moment, but somehow in this short span of time, the area between my daughter and I and my younger two children had some how filled up with people. I felt the panic of a crowd closing in between myself and my kids, they were near a rather busy street and even though they know how to stay safe, I still wanted to get back to them.

I politely began to edge my way through people. For those of you who don't know me, I will take this time to mention that I enjoy seeing live music. I always wear tennis shoes to shows and I can often get to the front of the floor in a general admission show by moving through the crowd in a manner that would not be considered "polite." So this polite edging was quite a feat for me, I was trying to set a good example. Well, the first somewhat elderly gentleman was having none of that. He wasn't going to move. Fortunately, he was rather large and my daughter and I squeezed by him with some ease. Then there was the woman in front of me, probably in her early sixties, and I said quite politely three times, "excuse me" and she just stood there in front of me refusing to move. We really had no choice, I had to move around her and as I did she exclaimed, "What do you think you are doing!" "Well, uh, I don't know trying to get to my kids," I said with a sarcastic smile. I wanted to say more, but decided to drop it.

This is something that I have noticed of late, women in a certain age group who seem to feel that politeness and public consideration of others is no longer something that they need to do. I have a few theories about why this is so floating around in the old brain pan, but the one that makes the most sense to me is that many women spend too much of their lives giving to others and not enough giving to themselves. By the time they reach late middle age/early old age, they have had it and they are going to look out for number one the rest of you be damned. Maybe other people don't notice this, but I have and I know why, it is because I do not want to be like that. So from this day forth, I am going to practice being polite and I am going to remember to take good care of myself so that I have the emotional bandwidth to carry out this resolution.

Kneading Bread Dough and Holiday Traditions

When I first started this blog, I promised myself that it wouldn't become a "homemaking blog" although it is difficult for me to avoid homemaking altogether as I have three young children. So consider this a therapy post rather than a homemaking post.

It is that time of year again, the one where we get ready to celebrate Santa Lucia. This is one of the only holiday traditions that our family has carried over from my Swedish ancestors. This celebration includes the making of Lucia buns. Of course I could probably buy something similar to Lucia buns or we could just have jam and toast, but I started making them a few years back and found that I rather enjoyed the process.

Yesterday was a long day. I had a hair appointment and have determined that I just don't have the time to sit around getting my haircut by someone else. Perhaps it is time that I learned to do it myself. This set the whole day behind. We went to see Santa Claus and the line was long. My kids have pretty much started to not believe in Santa anymore, this whole process is more about me taking them to have their picture taken. In the end they had fun, I just wonder how many more years I will be able to drag them out to get their perfect Santa picture. There was a twenty-one-year-old in line ahead of us with her mother. She was giving her mother one last Santa picture, so this gave me hope!

Now back to bread dough! Last night I made up the dough for the Lucia buns and started kneading it. Once I started, I found that I didn't want to stop. My hands were a mess, but the feel of the soft dough, rolling it rhythmically back and forth and pushing it down at each turn was somehow therapeutic for me, I found that I started to actually relax. This got me to thinking about how the pioneer women must have made it through difficult times without support. Maybe kneading bread dough was part of what helped them through a difficult life. Maybe there are some other household tasks that have this same effect, but I haven't found them yet. In the meantime, during this busy holiday season, maybe I will have to find more time to knead.

Health Care Alarm Bells

Speaking as the daughter of a breast cancer survivor, I know that I am not the only woman watching the current debate regarding women's health with growing concern. Less than a century ago, there truly was no specialized health care for women. All of the medical research was done on men. We have come a long way in the screening and care of women's health concerns. Now I feel like congress and some medical professionals want to turn back the hands of time.

Breast cancer screening, pap smears, and other "women centered" health tests do save lives. I know more than a handful of people in my age group (early 40's) who have caught their cancer early thanks to these invaluable tools. I can see the writing on the wall when it comes to coverage. Those "great minds" in charge of our well-being will determine that women only need these tests every few years or so and insurance companies will use that as an excuse to curtail assessment for women and cut it further. I believe that all of these cuts are motivated purely by an effort to save money. Most cancer experts that I have heard interviewed do not agree with these changes. When I look at this issue, I see those that are for the archaic changes to women's health care are the same ones that can save money when it comes to denying women coverage.

It has only been within the last few decades that women in general have had the knowledge and coverage to get these life-saving tests. Yes, women's health care certainly seems to moving back into the middle ages and more women are not going to be able to get treatment and die as a result of it and we will have the government of "change" to thank.

I Wish You Enough

I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports. I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye.

I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you. I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.

Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.

On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye. But I learn from goodbye moments, too.

Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."They kissed and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked."I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

* I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
* I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
* I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
* I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
* I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
* I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
* I wish enough hello's to get you through the final goodbye.

He then began to sob and walked away.

My friends, I wish you enough!

--- Copyright © 2001 Bob Parks

On Thankfulness...

Some days, when I am not viewing the world in a negative or cynical light and when I haven't had to share the road with too many bad drivers, I look around me and take stock in the little things that I am thankful for. This week I have had cause to give thanks to the powers that be for my healthy children. Sure, they get sick every once in a while, but they are not disabled. Their brains and bodies work and I get to experience being a parent of "normal" children. I once heard a poem about the birth of a typical child being compared to taking a trip to Italy and the birth of disabled one being compared to a trip to Holland, not what was expected, but over time parents are generally able to learn and grow in the beauty of each trip no matter how unplanned.

It has been fifteen years that I have worked with children of varying mental and physical disabilities and every so often there is a family that comes through the door to the office that gets me in some way and that happened this week. This family took a trip to Holland, a drastically unplanned one at that, about four years ago and as these problems are genetically related, it is unlikely that this child will have a sibling. The child is beautiful in his own way. I can see where the eyes of the appraising and often judgemental public may miss his beauty and I feel for these parents. Just about everything that could go wrong with a child has gone wrong with this kid.

What I think about though is the grief that parents of only children who are disabled must have to go through. To never be able to see their child change emotionally, socially, and cognitively from a three-year-old to a six-year-old to a ten-year-old onto the teenage years, then college, and independent adulthood. To know that the development will stop somewhere between one-year to three-years of age I think would be very hard for any parent to do. I watch and marvel and the strength, courage, and happiness that so many of these parents have day in and day out, what a gift, what a challenge.

One Bad Apple Ruins the Whole Bunch

I will be the first to admit that I haven't read much about the problems that Children's Hospital of Seattle has faced in regards to their much needed expansion. On Friday evening I attended a Symphony Guild fundraiser for Children's Hospital, I listened to a report about this issue on NPR, and I talked to a friend of mine who is a web designer for Children's Hospital at a party last night. These are my sources.

The fact is that Children's Hospital needs to expand. They currently have 250 beds and approximately 247 of them are filled. Children are sometimes not able to be placed in the area of the hospital that would best meet their needs because specialty areas are filled to the brim. Sometimes, children are turned away for services. The Children's Hospital of Seattle is located on a fairly nice piece of property near Lake Washington. In order to expand, they must build up. There are a handful of wealthy, aged, and influential people who have made their homes on the hill above the hospital and are actively thwarting expansion because they don't want their view blocked.

Needless to say, many of the businesses in the vicinity of the hospital are kept going by the employees and visitors at Children's. I am guessing that hundreds of employees live in the area. If the hospital is forced to move, it would be to the east side of the lake. There are two bridges that provide access to the east side from Seattle and they are both hugely congested many times during the day and evening as it is. Adding Children's Hospital traffic (assuming that most people don't want to or are unable to sell and buy in this economy) is going to make a large traffic problem that much worse. I would also like to mention that Harborview is the emergency hospital in Seattle, the one that a helicopter would land at if one were to need such services. Helicopters also land at Children's. Families who have been in accidents can get pediatric and adult care on the same side of the bridge and not be separated by a lake.

But, some people just don't want to lose their view. Is a view really more important than displacing and inconveniencing hundreds of employees and patients, No. I support keeping Seattle Children's Hospital in Seattle and wish the city council and government the best of luck in overriding some seriously self-centered individuals on this important issue.

Act of God

I saw the documentary film, "Act of God" last night. I actually had a difficult time following the sequence of stories in the film. Although there were some pretty spectacular images of lightening, I did not like the music used to narrate the film, it reminded me of fingernails on the blackboard. What brings me to write about this film viewing today is, it got me thinking about the randomness of life. Some may call this randomness "acts of God," others may refer to it simply as "chance." I consider myself to be somewhere in between. Yes, I believe in God, but contrary to the views expressed by some of the people interviewed in the film, I don't think of disaster (natural or otherwise) as a blessing or something to be considered good in any way. I also think it is somewhat dangerous to view a lightening strike that kills people as something considered to be "good," because it keeps the people still alive from going through the grief process. The film focused on stories about lightening strikes in South America, Cuba, France, and the United States. The participants in South America definitely had a more "this is God's will" view of lightening induced family deaths. I think of these lightening strikes more as chance rather than acts of God.

In the South American deaths, the young people who died had climbed to the top of an unsheltered hill knowing a storm was going to strike. In doing so, there was definitely a chance that they would be struck by lightening. In two of the American stories the participants were in areas of the country where thunder and lightening storms are not uncommon and were also outside in fairly unsheltered areas. If we take these examples away from lightening and look at the randomness of life in general, I think much of it leads to chance based on choices (knowing or not) and behavior that affects the outcome. I don't think of God necessarily as a puppeteer controlling our lives minutely from above.

Are these deaths sad, yes, all death by any means I think of as sad. One thing that we have to come to grips with in our humaneness is that we all have a finite time on this earth and this is something we can't change or control. Sometimes death comes early and sometimes late. I guess, overall, that I just didn't really see the "act of God" connection to the stories presented in this film. I would have gotten much more out of it viewing lightening scenes and actions narrated by beautiful music.

Wal-Mart, Symbol of America

I am horrified, although I don't know exactly why, I shouldn't really be all that surprised about what I read in the paper this morning. About half of the respondents in a new poll chose Wal-Mart as the institution that best symbolizes America today. Personally, I think Wal-Mart is the institution that best symbolizes what is wrong with America today, but I guess that is just my opinion. What do I really have to say about this? Don't the findings speak for themselves? Yet, some people still need to ask why I am a cynic? The article pointed out how other companies like Google, Microsoft, and Goldman-Sachs were "left in the dust" on this one. I would like to point out that the companies that were "left in the dust" are also companies that have a more educated work force than Wal-Mart, they are also companies that do much of their hiring from overseas, does anyone besides me see a correlation here?

Despite its reputation for good bargains, Wal-Mart makes me think of things like labor exploitation and forced price cutting. Are these the "values" we want to continue to be known for throughout the world? Like our primary education system, the focus seems to be on mediocrity. No longer a nation known for the futuristic foresight of innovative greatness, no not us, our symbol of "success" according to some Americans lies in amassing cheap quantities of materialistic goods that can be consumed in the moment. This points to a value of success not based on quality, but based on our ability to bulldoze the competition and live cheaply in the moment.

The Greatest Show on Earth

We went to the circus last night. The Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey "Greatest Show on Earth" circus and it was fun. Now I am a self-described "non-circus" person with the exception of the acrobatics that make my palms sweat and those were spectacular. What surprised me the most is how much I actually enjoyed the animal parts of the circus. The horses were gorgeous and the performing dog show was, in many ways, similar to the one that we saw in Sea World San Diego a few years back and I really enjoyed that.

All in all the only downer part of the evening was the group of sour faced protesters stationed at the main entrance and the fact that the circus wasn't actually held under a big top, but that is a different story. Since reading "Water for Elephants," I have been entranced with the notion of the big top. Also, I am old enough to have seen an actual circus under a big top and *sigh* I do miss those old fashioned things. Anyway, back to the protesters. I am given to understand, after completing my cursory Internet search, that the law suit that RBBB circus has managed to keep out of the courts since 2000 is indeed going to court. This suit involves alleged mis-treatment of the elephants.

On many levels I do consider myself to be an animal activist. But I think protesters, even a small group of them, at the circus is ridiculous. I realize that many of them have never travelled outside of the U.S. and been to countries where elephants are used as domestic labor and often treated very cruelly. It is certainly easier to station yourself outside of the doors of a commercial event in your own hometown rather than deal with the abuse of international animal trade. I get that.

But, in my humble opinion, the circus has gone quite P.C. since the big top days of old. What benefit does it give them to mis-treat their elephants. I might add, that at $60,000.00 per year for maintenance, these elephants are a huge investment for the circus. Like I said, I didn't expect to enjoy the elephants, tigers, horses and such as much as I did. I thought that I would be sitting in my seat thinking how much nicer it would be for these animals to roam free, not that they ever could, being too domesticated, at this point mind you.

At any rate, perhaps, probably, maybe there has been more recent elephant abuse in the circus. That is not up for me to answer. I know that the protesters at this event had a picture of one elephant and held posters proclaiming that this one elephant had been beaten to death. If that is true, than of course it is a damn shame. But their evidence was sketchy and limited and seemed a bit fabricated to me. It also disturbed the children and not in a good way. The animals on the floor inside of the event were beautiful and treated well during the performances.

Yes, people have come to enjoy animal free circuses. I am a fan of Cirque de Soleil. I did mention that I enjoy palm sweating acrobatics did I not? But as a sometimes old-fashioned American, I would I think miss the animal portion of RBBB circus. How many decades has this circus been around?

I hope that the outcome of the upcoming trial is fair. And if circus training practices need to change, than change they should and this may mean animal free RBBB circuses in the future. In the meantime images of painted elephants in India with numerous scars and limited nutrition will come to mind when I think of animal mistreatment, not the stunningly beautiful creatures that I witnessed at the circus last night.

School Daze

School has started again. I feel overwhelmed with paperwork, supplies, due dates, and deadlines. I though that mother were supposed to look forward to the beginning of school? I think that I look forward more to the beginning of summer. Maybe I should home school or not. At least then we wouldn't have to get up so damn early. We, who are not morning people in this house, have the earliest school day imaginable and I just have to say that I don't like it. I am missing summer already. I feel crabby tonight. The crack of dawn does not agree with my system.

Quotable Quotes

The weather in my nook of the country has been up and down and up and down. Sometimes sunny, sometimes sunny and sticky, sometimes rainy, sometimes cloudy, sometimes cloudy, rainy, and sticky all at once and then the surprise sunny again! I haven't been writing lately or tending to my blog or keeping with any routines at all. We have one scant week until our summer ends and school begins. I am not looking forward to early mornings and crabby risings. I am not even looking all that forward to routines. At least in the summer when I am not on the work day routine, I can sometimes sleep in. That will end when school begins.

Humph! so here I sit, pondering which direction I should take this little blog of mine. I have considered doing book reviews. Love to read, I do, but not enough to make it into a review blog. I am devoted pretty much to reading what I like and I think that in order to do quality reviews I would have to stretch myself more than I am willing.

I could review movies, cook my way through a cookbook, rant and rave, review happy hours and restaurants, or spend the year trying new things...I could just continue how I am, in randomness. It suits me for now. Until I get more creative, I will leave you with the following thought:

"Usually terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things." -Russell Baker