On Working Full-Time....

This is the first full-time job that I have had in eleven years and it is feeling pretty good thus far, midway through my first week. The thing that I am most thankful for is not to be running my children to and from activities after school each day. For some time, these car expeditions have not been the most productive and positive interactions with my children. Last night, because someone else was doing the schlepping, I was actually able to come home and prepare a very decent dinner. The job itself is shaping up, there is so much to learn and it has been a while since I have felt this ignorant. The family dynamics are changing a bit for the better and I hope that this continues. My husband is having to take up some of the duties that I used to be responsible for such as children's doctors appointments and taking children to and fro if our child minder is not available. Do I miss being away from home during the day? Not that much. It is often hard for me to get things done at home because I get caught up in cleaning or doing extra chores. Now I can bring things to do, like writing, in my down times at work and actually I have more time available to work on things that are important to me. Extra chores and housework can be saved for later in the day when I am no longer exerting my best energy to get them done. I will have to check in with my progress now and then. As I do enjoy this new work very much, I hope that it continues to be a good experience in regards to personal development and family dynamics. The sun is out, I may have to go for a walk.

The Food that we Eat

I feel a bit of a need to explain the new addition of seasonal foods to the headline of my blog. It would be lovely if I did by nature eat naturally, but I do not and thus do not always feed my family as naturally as I would like either. Rather I love the idea of eating foods that are in season and becoming more in touch with the eating process in general. Last summer when my mom was visiting for a weekend, I put this theory into practice for a complete meal. I know that was a long time ago and what have I done since? Truthfully not as much as I would like, but I do remember that meal. It was in season, prepared in our home kitchen, and utterly divine. We had been out enjoying a brilliantly sunny day and stopped off at a local outdoor market in one of the neighborhoods in Seattle. There we purchased hormone free meat, a variety of seasonal vegetables and fruits, and paired everything with a local wine. The meal was fresh and vibrant. The downside is how long it took to prepare and that is the biggest obstacle to my natural and seasonal cooking dreams, my lack of time! Someday I hope to repeat this meal. The new addition to my blog header is to remind me how rewarding good, fresh shopping and cooking can be and to try and put these ambitions into practice whenever I can.

We All Have "Our Things"

The idea for this post came from a recent e-mail discussion that I had with my dear friend Meg. We all have these "things" that if they were to happen our lives would be so much better. For some the thing would be to get married, if they could only find a spouse how much better their life would be! Others may be longing for things like a thinner body, home ownership, a child, or a college degree. It doesn't really matter what the thing is, whether it is big or small, with most of us it is the longing for a thing that would make our lives complete. I often find myself thinking that if I had only published a book my life would somehow be more complete. When I was younger I used to have this discussion with friends, we would talk about our young adulthood and how we were working towards college degrees then graduate degrees and then we would find jobs and maybe get married, buy a house, have some kids, and then what...well the "then what" stage is the stage that I am in now and I find that the biggest difficulty of "then what" is choosing what to do rather than having it planned for me based on my time in life.

The things tend to be more challenging than the stages. Often we do get the things that we long for to make our lives complete and when we get them, they are nothing like we expected. This is especially true for things that aren't really things like marriage and children. In the case of actual things, the getting of them usually doesn't offer completeness. More often than not, the getting of them results in the desire to have something better. A starter home is great to own, but won't it be great when we can move to a different neighborhood or have this much more square footage. If one is jobless, having money to live may be the desired, and necessary, thing. When the joblessness is left behind and money is coming in, there is always the temptation to want more, to earn more, and to collect more. The money to live is no longer enough and the thing is transformed.

It doesn't really matter what the things are. We all have them. They change. They grow. If we let them they consume us, our minds and our conversations. It is a challenge to be happy where you are at and know that, for whatever reason, you are meant to be in this particular place at this particular time. It takes knowing yourself and learning how to be content, maybe there are things that can make us more fulfilled and more happy, the problem is learning to know just what those are.

Tattoo Me

This is something that I think about every so often. Usually when I have a milestone birthday coming up, I think about taking the plunge and getting inked. Some tattoos are absolutely beautiful. Sleeves or the full body thing or anything on the face or head doesn't really set well with me. But then I would never consider doing that to my body, some people feel compelled to do this for whatever reason. I do not honestly know what I would tattoo on myself and I also don't know where I would tattoo it if I did. If I go to the time, expense, and effort then I think that I would want my tattoo to show. I would need to hide it at work, so it couldn't be in too showy of a place. The ankle comes to mind, but I have heard that can be painful. I guess getting a tattoo anywhere would probably be painful, but maybe less so on a fatty vs. bony area. Then I have to think about what I would indelibly put on myself and this is where is gets hard. I frankly just have too many diverse interests and I don't have an overriding interest or love that sails above everything else in such a way that I would want it to be permanently marked on me. I guess, for now, I will have to continue thinking. Of course, there is no reason that I have to get tattooed, I just keep thinking that maybe it would be something cool to do...sometime.

Random Thoughts on a February Morning

So here it is, almost halfway through the month of February and I have only one post for the month. A fairly good one, if I do say so myself, but only one nonetheless. It has been a busy month so far. My good friends and neighbors for the last several years moved out of their house last week. I miss them and our little lane does not quite seem the same. There are projects here and there, like scrapbooking, that I am trying to get caught up on. I am trying to fit in my writing, but have also had house guests and this has made that a challenge. In addition to the house guests and sudden neighbor/friend move and catching up on projects, I have been trying to catch up with old friends, read some books, and get over a nasty cold. Next week my kids are off from school. I have taken some time off of work and am hoping that we can have some fun together. The book I am currently reading is called "Home" by Marilynne Robinson. If you have never read her, don't be deceived by the slim size of most of her works. This woman makes every word count when she writes. She also teaches at the Iowa Writer's Workshop, perhaps that is why. I love her work, I just have to think in order to read it, probably a good exercise for me.

Tired of Writer's Block

Lately, I have been perusing different blogs. I need to do this every once in a while so that I feel like I am in touch with the blogging community and what is going on out there. I have come across a number of writer's blogs and I have to say that I am quite jealous. Damn you people who have time to write eloquent and interesting prose and dialogue. I am possessed of severe writer's block. Maybe writer's block isn't the correct term. I actually have things swimming around in my head that I would love to write about. In November I took a short-course on novel writing and came away inspired and filled with new ideas about how to approach the arduous task of putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard. Integrating writing into my life remains a challenge. Frankly I am not very disciplined. To be a successful writer, to start at least, usually requires one to make adjustments to their schedule such as getting up earlier or staying up later. I am good at neither. I am particularly not good at getting up earlier. I can always stay up later, especially if I am drinking red wine and in the company of good conversation. This is different, however, from staying up later to actually get some work done! The best gift that I could have for myself this holiday season is the gift of setting aside regular and consistent hours to write. This is currently my only goal for the new year. Wish me luck!